Facts of cancer: we could have lived better.

There are many writings on cancer from the perspective of a patient. Perhaps there are less from the family and friends of a cancer patient. Not taking away anything from these patients, in which I had seen many a great resolute and strength, this short pen is a take from a bedside observer.

As always in everyday life, the fact that death is inevitable is hardly expected to feature as part of the daily timeline. Any timeline for that matter. Call it what you may, this automatic shelving at times is like misplacing reading glasses. The finer print is gleaned over as a smudge of ink.

I cannot recall exactly when and how I was informed that my late father was diagnosed with cancer of the liver. He was already 71 then. It was more through conjecture than an express statement from everyone and anyone until I had the benefit of an explanation from one of the surgeons on a proposed partial resection of the liver (taking out an affected chunk of the liver). Even then, I could not really say I understood what cancer is. I googled a lot and bought some literature on the subject. I do remember a vague statement from the surgeon that typically the prognosis for liver cancer is poor. I did not really appreciate the meaning of that statement then.What clouded my understanding of this was my belief that the best medical option and team was availed to the treatment of my fsther, which belief to this day still holds unshaken. The proposed resection procedure was with the objective of preventing the spread of the cancer and hopefully through logical lay person thinking would likewise take it out from the probable equation as being a cause of death. There were percentages bandied about as well as types of treatment. Two years or so later when my father passed away did then I understood. Medical science with regard to cancer is not analogous to the treatment of headache with panadol. There is no cure. Had it been hammered into me that what had been diagnosed is actually having the angel of death knocking at the door I may have acted differently. Perhaps I may have not. I do not know.

From certain perspectives this view of being diagnosed with cancer is a death sentence may be construed as negative and can be seen to impede a "cure". Many books on dealing with cancer propagate "positive" thoughts as a requirement to fight the disease. Positive thoughts loosely translate to believing that the cancer will go away. An antithesis to cancer will kill or translated into medical mumbo jumbo, "poor prognosis". From experience treatments do give hope not only to the patients but also to the family and friends of patients, that the cancer will go away. What may have then been easily missed is that the point of treatment should really be if it does provide a window of well being before the inevitable.

The last two years of my father's life was a checkered one for me. There was a window of well being that did provide a semblance of normalcy. In that sense, the objective of the treatment by way of a liver resection was achieved. It did provide the opportunity for me to do certain things together which by reason of medical logic and probabilities would not have been possible because of the course the cancer would have taken had the resection procedure among other things not been done.

On hindsight, I could have done better in my father's last years. Yes it was life as usual mainly save for the hospitalisation periods in between. There are many more things that ought to have been said and done with the proper realisation that cancer is more often than not, a final call. Positive hopes for me meant postponing quality moments and experience. I believe the actions, wishes and hopes of those that surround a cancer patient would be different and more refined with the awareness our own mortality. Of course, it is not the intention to propagate Bollywood melodramas into real life but theatrics aside, we are living on a timeline.

كُلُّ نَفۡسٍ۬ ذَآٮِٕقَةُ ٱلۡمَوۡتِ‌ۖ ثُمَّ إِلَيۡنَا تُرۡجَعُونَ

"Every soul will taste of death. Then unto Us ye will be returned."

Surah An-Kabuut 29:57 (Pickthall translation)

If any of your loved ones are diagnosed with cancer, change.. to live your life the fullest with them.

KANSER, KANKER, PENYAKIT ZAMAN DIGITAL

Bukan senang sebenarnya memahami apa itu kanser.

Setelah memerhati secara peribadi kanser menimpa tujuh orang (sekiranya ingatan saya tepat) dalam tempoh lebih kurang 15 tahun yang lepas, pemahaman penyakit ini dari segi saintifik, perubatan dan perasaan masih samar.

Apapun satu persamaan diperhatikan. Kesemuanya menyerlahkan betapa tiada kuasanya manusia. Sememangnya manusia dibadai ombak qada dan qadar. Yang tetap ialah kuasa pilihan sahaja yang tinggal walaupun keputusan pilihan yang dibuat tetap diluar pengendalian manusia.

Adakah pemerhatian ini menidakkan atau mengiakan realiti, terpulang kepada perspektif pembaca.


Andri